i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize