You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize