The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
