for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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