Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
