grandma shit on top of the toilet
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
