She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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