i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
