I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
