Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
