Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
