Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
