I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
