1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
