All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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