Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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