dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
