thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
