We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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