So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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