Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
