Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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