Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
