Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So here I am, sexting at work.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
