I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
