That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
His nipple licking is glorious
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