"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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