Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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