Apparently you make a good broom.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We have started to decorate penises.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
