You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
