There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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