Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
