It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
