I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
