guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
