He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
