Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
we should paint friendship bongs
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
