Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
