at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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