His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize