You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
