Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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