Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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