BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
