On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
