if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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