dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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