We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
