I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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