She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
