1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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