So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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