Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
