We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
