Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
