My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
