Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You are a genius and a whore.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
