fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
