Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
