the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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